Joys of Single Motherhood

Balance, what's that? I believe that several months ago I was confused or happily unaware of the "balance" issues that overtake most women of a certain age. Well, I'm no longer confused. Now I'm in the thick of it. Most days I feel like either peanut butter or jelly oozing out of a sandwich with my mother on one side and my kids/day job/small business/ passive-aggressive ex-husband on the other. That's why they call it the "Sandwich Generation", one is squished between two sets of interests needing nearly constant attention. On a good day, the sandwich filling holds. These are the days when my mother does not call five or six times--usually just when the Boss is about to ask me for something--to say that she is lost-- again . The babysitter does not call at 3:15 to say that one kid or the other has not turned up at home and is there something I forgot to mention? Oops, there is often something I forgot to mention. This year my son has the same te...

Like the male officemates that populate Cathy's workplace, I hate Valentine's Day. Doesn't every single woman over the age of 35? The best Valentine's dinner I ever had was with two female pals. We ate in a cozy vegetarian restaurant run by a lesbian couple and there wasn't one straight couple in the place that evening. It was a Hallmark holiday that we joyfully turned on its head. From my ten year marriage there is no memorable Valentine's Day dinner or gift. I do remember one dinner where we sat in silence as usual. Me hoping that perhaps he would say something--anything--even "pass the salt, please" . Meanwhile he thought about work--what he would say on Monday, how he would solve this problem or that, etc. Or at least I think that's what was going through his brain. Maybe he was lusting after the waiter but even that would have taken an imagination that he just doesn't have. I realized the other day as I was racing past a huge display of V...

When I was pregnant with my son, people often exclaimed "oh, a boy and a girl-you're so lucky". Our daughter was two then and I hadn't really thought at all about how having a boy might be different. The "you're so lucky" comments rolled off my back. I knew that having a boy would be nice and perhaps different in some ways but of course with kids you never know until you're in the thick of it. My 7 year-old boy is headstrong. For example, the other morning at 3:05 I was awakened by a cat that wanted to take a bladder break outside. I got up and found most of the lights in the house on. Then I heard the television. I hurried down the stairs with the cat and found my son watching television--at 3 AM. "What are you doing? It's the middle of the night." I asked. "I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd watch cartoons." I said "Children don't watch TV in the middle of the night." And in reply he said "well, I ...