Joys of Single Motherhood

I am sitting on the couch with the cat. The cat that does not pee on the floor, the civilized cat that relieves himself outdoors which is what normal cats prefer. Or so I read. The boxes, gift wrap, operating instructions and tissue paper have been corraled. I put them in plastic trash bags. I feel guilty. We all know why. I am sitting and thinking about the couch upholstery and how filthy and spotty it is. I really should take it off and throw it in the wash. It's very convenient that way, except that I'm pretty sure most of the spots won't come out. Same with the yellow rug in the dining room. I wonder if I should just take it up and throw it out but it reminds me of better times. Maybe I should throw it out. Kid 1 is asleep. Kid 1 wants to go shopping later--presumably when she is awake. Kid 2 has rolled up the carpet in the office and is buzzing his new remote control cars--a Lamborghini Reventron and an Audi A8 around and around on the floor. They sound like the ...

I just had to make note. The world didn't end. No sign of the Illuminati. My ex-boyfriend had a friend who actually believed that the world would end last Friday and that aliens would land and solve all the world's problems. I never could figure out whether the Illuminati were good or bad. What I did figure out is that this friend had put her life on hold for years waiting for the big day. And now she's screwed I guess. Actually the tenacity with which such folks hold on to their confirmation biases is stunning. I'm sure they've set the next date already.

My friend and I went shopping for the kids the other day and came away oddly discouraged. The day before I'd gone to the local Game Stop and purchased some "DLC" (Downloadable Content) for Kid 2. Unfortunately he's back into 'shooter' games. I had the Steam cards in hand and I handed them to the clerk expecting him to note some code and then give the cards back. I figured I'd wrap the cards somehow. But all I got was a long receipt with some codes. I explained to the 20-something clerk that it would be hard to wrap a receipt and finally I wrangled two of the actual cards--so there would be something to wrap. The clerk was utterly puzzled by my need for something more tangible than a code to wrap and put under the tree. Finally he acquiesced in response to my plea of "it's a mom thing" and gave me the actual cards. He did this with an expression of contemptuous disbelief saying 'yeah, well that's one thing I'll never be, but wh...

Am I the only non-religious parent who wishes they had imprinted Hanukkah on their kids, instead of Christmas? Four small gifts and a fifth big one and that's it. Why is there never any money in December or do I just feel it most keenly in December? Now my cute little boy--who is not little but is still cute--has been invited to a 7th/8th grade dance party at the local country club. The ticket cost $75--but at least it's a benefit? And he was asked by a very cool girl...However, the blazer is $75 and the matching pants are $30 and if the piano currently perched in the dining room doesn't sell soon, I'm screwed. I am feeling newly discouraged about the demise of my relationship. Last year the holidays were fun and the years before that I always flew to Florida on Christmas. Even Thanksgiving was fun although New Year's Eve was kind of bumpy. This year I'll spend the day with the cats, one of whom is incontinent. He does at least only relieve himself on either...

Last year, Kid 2 had her first breakup with a boyfriend--her first. She was mopey for a day or so and she cried the day I finally figured out what was going on, but she was remarkably resilient. Now I find myself much less resilient in the wake of my own breakup. I suppose not much changes as for as the progression. As my aunt reminded me last night, I wasn't happy and I was bored and I wanted out last spring. But he was the one who pulled the plug and somehow that really hurts. "You were tired of him, remember? You wanted to be through with him, remember? You were bored to death!" All true. But still. I keep thinking how cold and dreary the winter will be without monthly trips to Miami--no kayak outings, no South Beach, no barbecues and fun oldsters. No more feeling like a college student again--but with no classes. Of course, on the other hand--no nonsensical discourses on voodoo 'medicine'; no constant nagging about a panoply of habits and no more crabbines...