Family Time v. Never Trust Anyone Over 30


It's a fact that teens want nothing to do with adults about 98% of the time. Unless they need cash, adults are simply useless nay-saying dolts who lumber about complaining about trash, laundry and other stupid stuff. They say dumb stuff like "oh, that skirt looks nice" even though the skirt in question makes you look like a pimento cut off at the knees. In short, they're useless.

I remember those days. I remember longing to be away from stupid relatives, deranged parents--anyone over 30. (Except for the cute draft-dodger Hippie who lived next door in a purple VW bus parked in his parents' driveway. He taught me guiter and introduced me to the Whole Earth Catalogue. I thought it was fascinating but unfathomable. I picked it up a few years ago and had the same reaction. That may be the only thing I've ever been right about through the decades.)

So yes, we adults are useless and often dopey. The last thing any teen wants to do is spend "Family Time" with....the family.  For my kids, the "family" means hanging out with annoying little brothers, nosy aunts and sometimes even your father's old Bronx friends' kids who seem to be from another galaxy altogether. Recently, my kids came home to report that one of these kids had a strange speech impediment that caused them to pronounce all "ts" as "d's". This kid kept talking about "sedan" and it took a while for my kids to figure out that she meant "Satan". Why on earth the subject of Sedan or Satan came up, well who knows? They are from another planet, after all.

One of Kid 1's best friends often fights with her parents about "Family Time." They have a lovely family--really, I'd like to go live with them myself--but this doesn't matter to the Friend. She wants to go out and get away from her lovely family. She wants to roam the streets of our upscale little city to sip lattes at the Temple of Teens (aka Starbucks) or peer at $200 blouses in the windows of boutiques that line Purchase Street. (The most aptly named street in America, I'm sure.) Her parents don't get it. They yell, they tear at their hair and it does no good.  Poor deluded parents--they come from lovely families themselves and they just don't get it.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Basketball Twenty Years Later

I played three on three basketball yesterday morning. I think I last played about 20 years ago. The good news is that I can see the floor better, meaning I can anticipate and react faster. Mentally that is. Physically I am a bit of a wreck. I can't really run because of my back so instead I try to skittle as fast as I can from one basket to the other. I can't jump higher than about six inches but that may be my utter lack of conditioning. As for shooting--I had no muscle memory of even how to shoot. I had four points but only because I flung the ball upward while I stood under the basket. Today I woke up and the only thing that isn't sore are my hips. I had a blast and my surgeon reassured me this morning that unless I run two marathons a month or do something similarly bizarre, my hips will be fine. Basketball, volleyball, biking--it's all okay. After we played b-ball there was a holiday party hosted by the amazing woman who makes all the weekly arrangements for soccer
Read more

A Sunny Day in March With My Cast

It's sunny and cold today. The snow is shrinking quickly, though not quite fast enough. I am on my second week in my walking cast. Tomorrow may be the day I am finally liberated from any cast at all and "get" to progress to wearing just a brace. A brace with sneakers, but still not a cast. If you've ever had a cast you know the day-to-day indignities, the insecurity, the balance issues, the importance of not tripping others and not being tripped and the balance issues. Yes, I said 'balance issues' twice. The first two weeks or so I fell on average twice a day. Some days I fell four times. My son would hear me topple and yell "Are you all right? Are you all right?!!" and rush to my side. The worst fall I took was on the carpeted floor in the living room. I managed to break a few Xmas ornaments with a crutch and smacked my head hard on the hardwood floor. I fell twice on the highly polished hard wood kitchen floor at my little six-year-old charge'
Read more

Launch Time Count Down

My star child turns 18 at the end of the month. She is finished with high school and she starts an internship on Monday. Seniors are required to do an internship 20 hours a week until graduation on June 20. A design company called "Project Gravitas", they make custom dresses for women who want to be taken seriously in the workplace. That's the "Gravitas" part. The lead designer is an FIT alum so she had a head start. Well, actually she didn't need a head start because this is the first time they've had an intern. She is very excited. They let her "help" the last time she was there and apparently she'll be doing the stuff she is interested in. Figuring out a creative-office wardrobe for a 17-year-old is turning out to be rather difficult. Banana Republic is "dumpy" as is J.Crew for the most part. Vince and Theory are great but their prices are not so great even on Poshmark . Shorts, not skirts, probably not dresses. No Bermuda sh
Read more