A Cannibal Is Coming To Eat You

Having a teenage daughter is hardly ever dull. We have that classic Love/Hate dynamic in play right now. There is no yelling or screaming but there is creativity.  Sometimes she peers at me from around corners and doorways and hisses "I hate you....",  like the giant serpent in Harry Potter. It's too silly not to laugh.

Now when she's ticked off or just annoyed,  she informs me calmly and with a straight face, of my impending demise.  "A cannibal named George is coming to eat you at 5. Please be ready."

We tacitly agree that this sort of terribly aggressive acting out on her part is normal. It's a real burden. (Yes, I am being facetious). She does get furious with me about once a week or so and it's usually because I've said something in front of a friend of hers without thinking.  I can understand her frustration when these things happen. I've been cursed with foot-in-mouth disease forever.

But I have learned the drill now. It is okay for me to talk to her friends as long as I don't seem too different. When I'm too tired or distracted I do not speak until spoken to.  I turn on NPR and I listen very,very intently. After all, the driver isn't paid to be entertaining. Heaven forbid.

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