He Seemed Like Such A Nice Guy

Maybe it's me but it seems as though mass shootings by crazed gunmen are happening more frequently

I have noticed that a script has evolved for these events. First, the death count starts low and increases as the day goes on.

"It is believed that there are three dead and at least 25 injured. Reports from inside the building say that there are at least three gunmen and that they are dressed in military garb. Those left inside have been instructed to" shelter in place".

Wasn't "sheltering in place" what they once taught Boy Scouts to do in case of an avalanche or a sudden tornado? "Pitch a tent and stay put!" Now it means "Duck, we gotta another nut with a gun!"

The talking heads quickly bring up the possibility that these armed gunmen are part of a terrorist plot. (I imagine that the militia nuts in Colorado, Idaho and other Red states start licking their chops as they set about cleaning their weapons and counting bullets. Maybe they begin to arrange carpooling for their invasion of Washington, DC. Nah, they're men. No car poolin', that'd be for sissies.)

Meanwhile, the death count gets higher and the number of wounded decreases. The man hunt for multiple shooters grows broader. Games are canceled, schools are locked down.

At the end of the day, lo and behold, they determine that there is just one shooter and he is among the dead. He is identified as a troubled nobody who had exhibited problems with authority figures in the past. The neighbors always say "he seemed like such a nice guy".

I'm afraid I've gotten so cynical that this statement makes me laugh to myself. Why does it never occur to this neighbor that this guy was obviously not nice at all. Who in the world would sign up to give the ubiquitous "such a nice guy" quote? This guy never adds "guess I was wrong about that." Hard to believe it gets edited out every single time.

Today there was an extra deliciously absurd report. Apparently the contractor who hired the shooter to do some work at the massacre site, was quoted as saying that he would never have hired Shooter Guy if he'd known about his previous brushes with the law.

Gosh, what a relief. Next time someone else will hire Mr. Shooter Guy.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Basketball Twenty Years Later

I played three on three basketball yesterday morning. I think I last played about 20 years ago. The good news is that I can see the floor better, meaning I can anticipate and react faster. Mentally that is. Physically I am a bit of a wreck. I can't really run because of my back so instead I try to skittle as fast as I can from one basket to the other. I can't jump higher than about six inches but that may be my utter lack of conditioning. As for shooting--I had no muscle memory of even how to shoot. I had four points but only because I flung the ball upward while I stood under the basket. Today I woke up and the only thing that isn't sore are my hips. I had a blast and my surgeon reassured me this morning that unless I run two marathons a month or do something similarly bizarre, my hips will be fine. Basketball, volleyball, biking--it's all okay. After we played b-ball there was a holiday party hosted by the amazing woman who makes all the weekly arrangements for soccer
Read more

A Sunny Day in March With My Cast

It's sunny and cold today. The snow is shrinking quickly, though not quite fast enough. I am on my second week in my walking cast. Tomorrow may be the day I am finally liberated from any cast at all and "get" to progress to wearing just a brace. A brace with sneakers, but still not a cast. If you've ever had a cast you know the day-to-day indignities, the insecurity, the balance issues, the importance of not tripping others and not being tripped and the balance issues. Yes, I said 'balance issues' twice. The first two weeks or so I fell on average twice a day. Some days I fell four times. My son would hear me topple and yell "Are you all right? Are you all right?!!" and rush to my side. The worst fall I took was on the carpeted floor in the living room. I managed to break a few Xmas ornaments with a crutch and smacked my head hard on the hardwood floor. I fell twice on the highly polished hard wood kitchen floor at my little six-year-old charge'
Read more

Launch Time Count Down

My star child turns 18 at the end of the month. She is finished with high school and she starts an internship on Monday. Seniors are required to do an internship 20 hours a week until graduation on June 20. A design company called "Project Gravitas", they make custom dresses for women who want to be taken seriously in the workplace. That's the "Gravitas" part. The lead designer is an FIT alum so she had a head start. Well, actually she didn't need a head start because this is the first time they've had an intern. She is very excited. They let her "help" the last time she was there and apparently she'll be doing the stuff she is interested in. Figuring out a creative-office wardrobe for a 17-year-old is turning out to be rather difficult. Banana Republic is "dumpy" as is J.Crew for the most part. Vince and Theory are great but their prices are not so great even on Poshmark . Shorts, not skirts, probably not dresses. No Bermuda sh
Read more