Hey, Who's That Guy on the Cross?

It's Sunday and even though it has been about forty years since I went to church regularly, I wonder just about every week about whether my kids utter disinterest in religion is good or bad. As a child each week I'd try to listen carefully to the minister's sermon and try to feel something other than boredom. The connections between these abstruse stories and life were always a mystery to me. The hyms however, touched me on a different level and I still remember many obscure lyrics to even more obscure hyms.

When my daughter was born she was baptized a Catholic in order to affirm her identity as an Irish American. My then-husband felt it was important as part of the whole Irish thing and I had no objections. The service was held in the same church where his great-grand parents had married right before they sailed back to Ireland. This was before the priest scandals and also before my father-in-law passed away. It was more for him than for anyone else--to celebrate the circle of life and also to begin a religious life of some kind. At the time I thought that knowing the stories of the Bible was part of being an educated person. How could you understand the story of Job or at least a reference to him if you thought his name rhymed with "Bob"? But then again, beyond the Biblical reference, I've never understood that story. "Oh, to hell with this!" still seems to me to be the best response from Job to God. The "cruxifiction" story never made a lick of sense to me either. Jesus dies for the sins of mankind, in order that they be forgiven? The sins are forgiven? Mankind is forgiven? Does this mean that all sins occurring after the event are also forgiven or just the ones that came before this great sacrifice? I've no idea and I'm glad my kids have no interest.


Well, not "no interest", just very targeted interest. My son went to preschool at the local synagogue where he learned about Esther and Hamen and latkes and Purim. For those 3 years, my daughter proudly told anyone who asked that she was Catholic but that her brother was Jewish. She got a lot of wide-eyed responses in our tony town. Sometimes she would add "oh, and Mommy is nothing." My complete disbelief in God or any religion was pretty much ignored. But my son enjoyed his time as a faux Jew. He would carefully explain the various holidays to us and took part enthusiastically in all of the rituals. My daughter's Catholicism amounted to nothing more than a cheap satin bonnet, a sad broken candle and some kind of official document proclaiming that she is an "official Catholic". To me, the stories of the Torah seemed to make more sense. A bunch of evil people tried to kill the Jews and the clever/brave/pious Jews escaped. Basically all the stories are pretty much the same and they're kind of intriguing in their simplicity.

Sometimes my kids' utter ignorance when it comes to religion is glaring. At the very Catholic funeral held for their Irish grandmother, the kneeling and crossing mystified them. My son, as a faux Jew was even more confused. "Hey Mom, who's that guy on the cross?" he said way too loudly as we sat down in our pew. "That's Jesus on the cross, I'll explain later!", I hissed back at him but I couldn't fault him for being puzzled. There weren't any jesuses on the cross hanging on the walls back at the preschool.

We have close friends who are Dutch and they hoot merrily at the American fixation on religion. "What a bunch of foolish nonsense" is their battle cry and I admit it's one I've adopted. In this United States of Jesus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7f01IBDoZGg, not believing and not even bothering to hide it can set a family or a kid apart from his peers. "You don't believe in God???" the oldest boy has been asked more then once on the playground. I'm chicken shit. I've cautioned my kids not to boast of their disbelief. "It's not polite" I say.

Lately my daughter has been asking questions about the Muslim religion. She just finished A Thousand Splendid Suns http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/29/books/29kaku.html?ex=1338091200&en=60df75034aaad2ff&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss and one of her first questions was "What's a burka?" I explained that it's a sack with eye holes that women wear when they go out--at least in some Middle Eastern countries. From there we got into the treatment of women in the name of religion and whether or not these rules set up by men really have anything to do with religion. I think not. I did not say so, but it seems to me that organized religion is not only the opiate of the poor but also the primary oppressor of women. It seems to me that the good old Golden Rule is all anyone needs to navigate the world.