The Things I Still Don't Miss--Of MPG and Constant Nagging

Even though it is now more than six months since the Mountain Mensch dumped me, there are still nano-seconds when I miss the physical intimacy we shared. A scent, a certain bird singing in the morning can conjure a day, a morning with the sun streaming into the room.

Then I console myself with a list of the things I don't miss:

The nagging--the constant prodding, pushing, unasked-for advice. The Mountain Mensch always knows what's best--always--about everything. Period. When his wife divorced him she cited his "know-it-all attitude" as one of her reasons.

Constant disapproval of whatever it was I happened to be eating. Hmmm...see 'nagging' above.

Religious differences I think that a generally Western, evidence-based, double-blind approach to medicine and health is one's best bet for staying well.  I am in favor of science. I do not think that Western medicine is controlled by a panel of pharmaceutical company executives led by Dr. Evil.  That's the dogma I live by on my side of the Great Schism. The Mountain Mensch is an adherent of the cult of "Alternative Medicine", a wacky melange of silver bullet remedies all of which are unfairly pooh-poohed by "them" (them=grand poobahs of Western Medicine). This is a world in which confirmation bias is all; a world where correlation always means causation. In the world of "Alt med", if you believe in a remedy then the remedy works and if it works for me, then it will work for you too. It drove me nuts.

The delusion that any conversation about gasoline prices could ever be even remotely interesting.
 I no longer obsess about the price of gasoline and I no longer crow when I find a good price. Dull, dull, dull. My always gracious BFF told me this 'oh-so-politely' a few months after the Mountain Mensch had faded away.  Sure I still know where the cheapest gas in town is and I'll cough up that info if asked...but only if asked. In this well-heeled town, no one asks.

But, and I suppose there is always a but if one is honest with oneself. I miss never having to worry about car maintenance. Until yesterday, I hadn't paid for an oil change in six years or so and I had put off and put off getting one because I knew what I was in for. I was in for the patented Jiffy Lube experience where they offer a "complete ten step check-up" along with the oil change. They take your car and get it into the bay, spend 10 minutes or so--probably drinking coffee--and then come in to see you as you wait nervously.The mechanic's expression is grim and he shakes his head a bit in sad disbelief as he delivers the bad news. The hook is set.  Every well-heeled dupe agrees to indulge in every stupid unnecessary procedure or parts replacement they suggest. It's like shooting fish in a barrel. I rolled my eyes so many times it's a miracle I can still see even 48 hours later.

 I had forgotten the general routine but I wasn't there long before I realized I had no work order. I'd told them to change the oil and filter, I hadn't stressed that this was the sum of the assignment. So I was grumpy. I went up to the desk and asked the counter man about the procedure. "Oh, well we give your car a complete ten point checkup that includes...". "No, I don't want any of that. I want you to change the oil and put a new filter in, that's it. I don't want any of the other stuff.". The guy's face sagged and he started to argue half-heartedly but he knew he was beaten. "Oh, well, then let me go tell the guys that you only want the oil changed....you silly woman you." (He didn't say that last part, but I heard him think it.) The guy who actually did the oil change came in from the garage when the job was done and made a limp go at trying to convince me that my car needed many things..expensive things. I blew him off and Kid 2 and I made our escape with fresh oil and a new filter. Geesh.

The Mountain Mensch taught me that car guys will always, always try to rip you off. If you care about how much money you spend on your car, your job as an intelligent person is to recognize this fact upfront. No need to get upset or angry about it. It's nothing personal. It's a game and the rules are simple: try to make the dumb-ass who knows nothing about his car pay as much as possible. My rule is let the mechanic make a living but don't be a mark. The guy who occasionally replaces some part on my car knows that I will deliver the part along with the order. It costs less. He knows that I know the routine and he doesn't try to rip me off. In turn, I let him take a small advantage. He has to make a living.  If you don't care how much money you spend on car maintenance then none of this matters and more power to you. You have the privilege of collusion--you know the game and you don't care. The mechanic knows you know and he appreciates your participation in the game. He always smiles whenever he sees you. And that's fine too.