Tattoo You? Please Don't, Seriously

"A tattoo is like wearing your worst outfit from high school for the rest of your life." from Patricia Marx in 'Ladies' in the March 4 2013 New Yorker

I hate tattoos. I have several due to post-mastectomy reconstruction and I can attest that the very process is creepy and painful. And anxiety-producing. I had mine done for aesthetic reasons but boy, I hated having them done.  

I laughed pretty hard when I saw the above line from Patricia Marx because it's so true. A hundred years ago growing up in Maine, a tattoo was considered the epitome of 'poor white trash-dom'. Broken snow-mobiles, rusted car engines, overgrown lawn and a junkyard dog was a sign of people with tattoos. A tattoo that one had unwisely had done while serving in the Navy or Army was considered okay. That just meant your buddies talked you into something unwise once when you were drunk one Friday night in some boring hell-hole. Even the snobs in rural areas have their exceptions.

I still hate tattoos. Most people of a certain age have one or more. But they don't age well, that's for sure. At one of the waterfall swimming spots in the Berkshires, there are always women past a certain age with tattoos. Mostly you can barely tell what they depict. The skin beneath is saggy and wrinkled and that butterfly you thought was so hip and different when you were 32 now looks like a crushed cicada. Ick. Sometimes my daughter tells me that she thinks maybe a tiny one on her ankle might be nice. Still I say 'ick'. Although one of those nose rings or studs would be even worse. Much worse.....