What Are You Doing In There?

My daughter takes the world's longest showers. It must be genetic. In the good old days when her father and I were married we hosted many parties. He was always still in the shower when our guests started to arrive. It drove me nuts.

And now I am my own father because I'm the one who pays the water bill. I hate to waste water and a shower longer than five minutes is practically criminal in my book.

Like my father before me I have been known to rap on the door and "That's long enough! Get OUT of the shower!" But no more, because it's scary. Kid 1 told me this morning that when I yell like that, it scares her. And she was so upset the other morning that she cried. I remember being startled by my father's hollering but I never cried. I hadn't remembered that feeling until this morning--being scared and then rushing to finish.

So no more yelling about showers. I felt awful that I'd made her cry. It never occurred to me. I find it difficult sometimes to know when to treat my teens like babies and when to treat them like young adults. I suggested to her that she and her brother have small signs that they could hold up so I'll know. One side would say "Baby" and the other would say "Grownup". That way I'd know how to react. The trouble is I think they'd be just as conflicted as I am sometimes. Is it a "baby" moment or a "grownup"  one?

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