Prom Fever


We have "Prom Fever" but not in the conventional sense. We did not buy a $300 dress and she did not rush home from the shop to post a photo of it to the specially-designed Web site set up to eliminate the chance of two girls showing up in the same dress. The Junior Prom is May 17th and my daughter is going with her boyfriend Pudding Dragon.

We got her prom dress two months ago or so. It was $60 and I think it's Balmain or some other musty, but once glam designer. There is a designer consignment shop in Port Chester that is often gold for fancy dresses...also jeans. (I recently scored a pair of AG Stilts in my fat size for $35 there. I saw the same pair for $158 at Bloomies the other day) When I think of "prom", I think of this-- http://www.prettyforprom.com/prom-history.html  IOW, Dork City. Only cheerleaders care and the dresses are hideous. I'm such an awful mother...)

Her dress is black and strapless and has a lace skirt with a velvet bow on one hip. Very glamorous but not very Spring-y or Prom-ish. Just chic. Suitable for any charity ball or embassy event. She's 'accenting' with a pair of very high-heeled snake-skin sandals in teal and she just got a nifty clutch purse to match the shoes. All set.

Anyway, yesterday afternoon I was sitting happily keeping my five year old faux grandchild company as he played some awful X-box game--Assassin's Creed. At the same time I was fighting off the family's 120 lb. Golden Lab who only behaves even remotely well when it's sunny out. (I think he has a Vitamin D deficiency.) Anyway, Cutie was embroiled in a battle with "Red Sojers" (Red Coats) in a Revolutionary War setting when a virtual coyote attacked. "Eek, eek, a coyote is getting me! Hewp, hewp!! The dog began jumping around--leaping--you can't jump when you're that big--not with four legs and all hell broke loose. Plus I'd just put a frozen pizza in the oven for dinner.

Then my phone rang. It was the Pudding Dragon's mom with prom details. Details? She told me about the pre-prom photo party, the pre-prom photo gathering (different from the party at the yacht club) and the various after-parties. She wanted to know what style of tuxedo Darling Daughter desired for Pudding Dragon and what color flowers she should get him for the matching boutonnierre and wrist corsage. Little Cutie was still shrieking gaily about the coyote attack and Chomp was still barking. And I thought, "take me out and shoot me", which is what I used to say to myself and to Pauper Papa when the kids were babies.  I even made up a song that I can still sing.

Fortunately Pudding Dragon's mom has her feet on the ground and seemed genuinely chagrined to be asking these  questions. I didn't say "um, does it matter? Or, "um, I don't really care and I know Beloved Daughter doesn't either." Maybe I should have. I think PD's mom would have laughed. I like her already.  It was the pre-photo party at the yacht club that floored me. I immediately thought "what the hell am I going to do with that?"

I hate, hate, hate going to these happy couple parent things. Talk about being a "third wheel"--I'll have to dig up my scarlet D. So, I'm taking my son as a shield.  Hopefully, he'll say something hilarious but completely inappropriate. Some jaws will drop and some of the crowd who like me --would rather be home watching the NBA finals will laugh. And we can escape.

To her everlasting credit, my darling, down-to-earth daughter is as mystified and flabbergasted as I am at all the prom folderol. Her reaction: "What is a prom anyway? I thought it was just a dance. It sounds like a wedding..." White flowers are fine. She doesn't care. She is glad he is wearing a traditional tux--no tie-dye cummerbund or top hat. No cane. Thank Zeus. His usual attire is Footie Hoodie pajamas. She says she is a little bit excited. She is trying not to bite her nails so that she'll be able to join her friends for a group mani-pedi the day before the event. The funniest thing, I think--in order to have time enough to get ready, the juniors and their dates all leave school at 1100 on Prom Day. Oh, and the freaking pizza burned but the coyote was vanquished.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Basketball Twenty Years Later

I played three on three basketball yesterday morning. I think I last played about 20 years ago. The good news is that I can see the floor better, meaning I can anticipate and react faster. Mentally that is. Physically I am a bit of a wreck. I can't really run because of my back so instead I try to skittle as fast as I can from one basket to the other. I can't jump higher than about six inches but that may be my utter lack of conditioning. As for shooting--I had no muscle memory of even how to shoot. I had four points but only because I flung the ball upward while I stood under the basket. Today I woke up and the only thing that isn't sore are my hips. I had a blast and my surgeon reassured me this morning that unless I run two marathons a month or do something similarly bizarre, my hips will be fine. Basketball, volleyball, biking--it's all okay. After we played b-ball there was a holiday party hosted by the amazing woman who makes all the weekly arrangements for soccer
Read more

A Sunny Day in March With My Cast

It's sunny and cold today. The snow is shrinking quickly, though not quite fast enough. I am on my second week in my walking cast. Tomorrow may be the day I am finally liberated from any cast at all and "get" to progress to wearing just a brace. A brace with sneakers, but still not a cast. If you've ever had a cast you know the day-to-day indignities, the insecurity, the balance issues, the importance of not tripping others and not being tripped and the balance issues. Yes, I said 'balance issues' twice. The first two weeks or so I fell on average twice a day. Some days I fell four times. My son would hear me topple and yell "Are you all right? Are you all right?!!" and rush to my side. The worst fall I took was on the carpeted floor in the living room. I managed to break a few Xmas ornaments with a crutch and smacked my head hard on the hardwood floor. I fell twice on the highly polished hard wood kitchen floor at my little six-year-old charge'
Read more

Launch Time Count Down

My star child turns 18 at the end of the month. She is finished with high school and she starts an internship on Monday. Seniors are required to do an internship 20 hours a week until graduation on June 20. A design company called "Project Gravitas", they make custom dresses for women who want to be taken seriously in the workplace. That's the "Gravitas" part. The lead designer is an FIT alum so she had a head start. Well, actually she didn't need a head start because this is the first time they've had an intern. She is very excited. They let her "help" the last time she was there and apparently she'll be doing the stuff she is interested in. Figuring out a creative-office wardrobe for a 17-year-old is turning out to be rather difficult. Banana Republic is "dumpy" as is J.Crew for the most part. Vince and Theory are great but their prices are not so great even on Poshmark . Shorts, not skirts, probably not dresses. No Bermuda sh
Read more